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About Me Member Pseudo-Intellectual rustysilverliningFemale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Months
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Almost Forgot

Journal Entry: Thu Nov 19, 2009, 11:23 AM


It's been so long since I had this luxury that I've nearly forgotten what to do with it...

Well then! I suppose I owe everyone an account of myself and my whereabouts, which I hereby promise to supply in full, though many will, I'm sure, wish that I had not upon reading it... But that's for another time!

I'm all right, shaken and a bit bent under the weight of my lovely new spine, feeling a little empty after having lost so much... even if most of what I lost was bad for me, I still... urgh, I haven't put anything into words for such a long time! How do I even begin to relieve myself of this??? To explain it to myself or to any of you?????

I was in love with... you remember, I'm sure -.- He did something so unspeakably cruel that it withered and died, leaving me feeling terribly alone and lost. A time passed where I was cut off from everyone, and I desperately tried to make myself love him again, just so that I would have a happy MEMORY to feel for, or someone to write letters to, but to no avail. The feeling would not return.

My friends... I know you'll argue... pretty much forgot me. When I finally contacted them, they all said, basically-- "Oh. Hi. Um... so where did you go again?" I was totally heartbroken, needless to say :D

I recently had to hurt someone I love dearly, and I can't find it in myself to forgive myself for that. That I could have really sunk so low as all this astounds me.

I also... have... sort of... begun something. Perhaps. With a... guy. I can't quite bring myself to write about it, because I'm almost certain it's not true, not happening, that I've imagined all of what I feel or he said... or worse, that he was... is... just the same as the first. That I'll do to him what I did to others. Or that everything will fade like a dream you try to take from the edge of sleep.

OOOOOOH THAT WAS AWKWARD TO WRITE!!!!!!! I had to force myself through that entire paragraph >.<





READ MY NEW STORY, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!! I NEED CRITICS!!!!

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